The Layman's Guide to Student Politique

Of late my colleagues in the Union and I have been working tirelessly to offer better conditions to the students at our institution. By campaigning endlessly to ensure our plight is publicised, I have personally had to appear in the media and eloquently shout down any resistance to our cause; for after all what is the use of clever slogans and complicated doctrine unless you say it loud enough? I will not stop my campaign until my name appears in every email and my face appears on every flier! Do you see how dedicated I am to our cause? My efforts should be an example to you all.

Despite my numerous personal sacrifices I am more than willing to accept yet another year as a Union officer working the strenuous hours required of the position, in order to fully represent our needs and basic rights as the new and most informed generation! Comrades, who benefits more from occupation of University buildings and constant mass rallies than you? Not only do you fight for you rights, but you also convey your individuality and seperatness from the system by participating in group formations and synchronised chanting; what "normal" person does that?

Re-elect me and let's see if we can beat the 123% majority I won by last time, your favourite student representative William Abdul-Aziz X